Is True Love Just A Fairytale?

True love is the only thing that can destroy every fairytale you ever imagined about love. Then you will finally see...it was there all along.

This idea of seeing love that was there all along, certainly seemed like a fairytale to me.

Or it did until...well...until it all became clear.

It was like defocusing my eyes to see the 3D image on a 2D stereogram. When I stopped looking straight at it, I saw it.

The time from fairytale to seeing and understanding varys from person to person. And thats simply because we are all on different courses -- the beauty of life is meeting up and collaborating with other souls.

For me it took a while. I needed many object lessons in my romantic relationships to show me how the terrible relationships I found myself in, were trying to show me something about what was going on inside me.

I’d imagine that many of you have heard that true love lives inside you. This comes in many different packages but ultimately, the message is: The wholeness of love that you’re seeking, already lives in you. That nothing outside, will ever satisfy you.

I have to say, the first time I heard this, I thought it was because my friend was high...we both were...but, he was talking about something that wasn’t physical. He was talking about some religious thing or God thing. Not true love, at least not the brand I was looking for.

My idea of true love had a man attached to the end of it.

So, I did what any young, sexually maturing, that 70s girl would do...have lots of sex.

I thought that would lead me to love.

Maybe it’s just because I have a stubborn streak, or maybe just really like sex...because it took many object lessons for me to see. Clearly, sex, was not going to lead me to the love I was seeking.

I had many boyfriends, I had many affairs and I even had a husband. But that need for love, true love, was still unfulfilled.

I just thought I hadn’t found the right person. Or better yet, they hadn’t found me, as the fairytale promised.

As the judge signed the divorce decree, after a 10 year rollercoaster marriage, I began to consider what my friend so long ago had said. “Love lives inside you. Nothing outside will ever satisfy.” He also told me, “You will find it, if you take your inner journey.”

So this is where I began.

That was 8 years ago.

Now, I’m secure in the understanding that love...true love, really does live inside me. I am always whole. Only my perceptions get broken or skewed. And sometimes because of how hurt I’ve been, I place barriers, obstacles and walls that make love seem far or nonexistent. I might even go so far as to let my monster out of the box. But love that is unchanging, is my anchor. And because of discovering my own inner alchemy of love, this understanding, led me to find my soulmate. He is the physical expression of the wholeness I found inside of myself. It doesn’t mean we are free from ghosts of the past, casting shadows. And it certainly doesn’t mean our dark parts don’t come out.

This is where I developed the creative art therapy tool: Monster in a Box (Anger Helps).

The beauty of finding a soulmate is you are always safe to be yourself. Even if it isn’t pretty. And it’s not because they love you more than anyone else. It’s because they value themselves enough to cultivate their own wellspring of love. Their well-being is not determined by you or vice versa. This allows for a truly unique blend of humanness to evolve. Creating an even stronger conduit to love.

This may sound like a fairytale but it truly is not.

This is true love.

And I found it all because I took the journey inward and found my inner alchemy of love.

If you are out there seeking true love, here are three things to consider for your inner journey.

Connection:

We all need the connection to our inner source of love, our lives depend on it. When I say our lives depend on finding the source of love, I mean it. As humans, if we do not find the connection to this source inside us, we are biologically compromised. Existing without a power source makes for very anxious living. Which for me resulted in being a walking DHulk. I was always angry. In fact it caused me to be diagnosed with high blood pressure, as well as, manifested several other physical maladies. The truth is, when we are connected to our love source, our bodies release natural antidepressants: dopamine, opiates, serotonin and oxytocin. Our inner alchemy of love is our life force, nurture the connection.

Intention:

Begin your inner journey with intention. Living in a physical world it’s very easy to forget that many things that occur are coming from the subconscious or unconscious pushes. The unseen realm speaks through signs and symbols. These are as personal as your dreams. And I urge you to become aware of your inner language of signs and symbols. It will help you to decipher the code and unlock blocks to love. And because love is such an essential connection, our subconscious maybe working overtime in facilitating meetings or relationships with people, to get us to ‘see’ these obstacles that reside inside us. If you can stop to recognize that what’s happening outside of you is to shatter illusions of inner perception, you will be able to approach your intention to love with openness from the inside out. That’s how you will be able to ‘see’ how you block the source. Or close your portal of vision.

The hardest aspect of the inner journey for me was the third thing to contemplate as you turn inward.

Facing Your Fears:

Until you face your darkness, it will always be in-between you and true love. We live in a world of opposites. A world of paradoxes. Which means, here in this place we call the material world, we are both dark and light. Just as we were created half male and half female. There is no escaping these facts. Unless you are existing in a fairytale. You must face the darkness inside, in order to see your wholeness. In American, darkness is something that is repressed. Proof of this reveals itself in children carrying guns to school. Shooting their mates and still feeling nothing. The reason the monster comes out in this way, is because of trauma. In my research, in hundreds of case studies, I have found that young people (0-13) who suffer from continuous trauma will have violent tendencies once they reach puberty. And left unresolved, or continued, there is a high percentage that will act out their repression trauma, in violence to others.

I can say from my own perspective, My DHulk is always ready to pop the monster out of the box. Especially, if someone backs me into a corner. Which in that case, the monster is a good thing. In fact, it saved me several times. You remember, I was having lots of sex. Which put me in some very precarious positions and situations. So by acknowledging and understanding my own darkness, which is part of my wholeness, it saved me.

Accepting yourself as you are, is freeing. Because it allows you to let go of all the things you aren’t. Keeping your shadow behind you, where it belongs. Instead of in front of you, blocking your inner brilliance.

The inner alchemy of you.

The journey to find true love begins inward. A necessity to our existence. And true freedom for our being. By fixing your intention on openness to love, it will give you the courage to face your fears and reconcile to your own darkness. Not allowing the shadows keep you from seeing the wholeness that is already yours.

I'm D: The Finder

I can help you find YOUR Inner Alchemy of Love

If you are somebody who is stuck in fairytale love,

I can help. Aside from finding the greatest love inward.

I also found my soulmate,

the person who loves me because of who I am, not what I do.

We see the core of love and wholeness reflected in each other.